NOTE: I am back. I have a lot of work to do on the site, which is suffering from missing images (it seems that Imageshack is not entirely to be trusted). I have deleted the last text entry and I am redoing the scene from there. Updates may be sporadic for a while as I get back into the swing of things.
My thanks to Allie Brosh, who, all unknowing, gave me a kick in the pants when I most needed it.